Some things are in our control and others not1
Epictetus’s Discourses as reported by Arrian starts with “Of the things which are under our control and not under our control”. It is interesting how central this theme is to core wisdom offered by so many schools of thought. This week I exchanged a series of texts with a friend and former colleague about the challenges at work. All I could think of to offer support was to go read old Epictetus for some wisdom. This particular nugget, quoting extensively from the Enchiridion2, is taught to us throughout our life in a variety of forms but we struggle to internalize it. Life would be a whole lot easier to go through if we did.
Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.
The things in our control are by nature free, unrestrained, unhindered; but those not in our control are weak, slavish, restrained, belonging to others. Remember, then, that if you suppose that things which are slavish by nature are also free, and that what belongs to others is your own, then you will be hindered. You will lament, you will be disturbed, and you will find fault both with gods and men. But if you suppose that only to be your own which is your own, and what belongs to others such as it really is, then no one will ever compel you or restrain you. Further, you will find fault with no one or accuse no one. You will do nothing against your will. No one will hurt you, you will have no enemies, and you not be harmed.
Aiming therefore at such great things, remember that you must not allow yourself to be carried, even with a slight tendency, towards the attainment of lesser things. Instead, you must entirely quit some things and for the present postpone the rest. But if you would both have these great things, along with power and riches, then you will not gain even the latter, because you aim at the former too: but you will absolutely fail of the former, by which alone happiness and freedom are achieved.
Work, therefore to be able to say to every harsh appearance, "You are but an appearance, and not absolutely the thing you appear to be." And then examine it by those rules which you have, and first, and chiefly, by this: whether it concerns the things which are in our own control, or those which are not; and, if it concerns anything not in our control, be prepared to say that it is nothing to you.
I thought Shakespeare had something to say about this and realized as I researched that he came back to this thought a surprising number of times. In Hamlet, in Othello, in All’s Well That Ends Well and, in Julius Caesar. In Julius Caesar, Cassius argues against the idea that external factors dictate our lives “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves…”.
Hinduism, Christianity and all major religions have something to say on this. The trick is to not fall into a fatalistic attitude in following this advice (I think). In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna advises Arjuna the warrior “कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन | मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि ||” - “You have a right to perform your prescribed duties, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your activities, nor be attached to inaction.” My rounds of golf are a whole lot more enjoyable when I remember this lesson - as the ball sails out of bounds. I have to remind myself to stay focused on whether I swung the club the best I could.
The Old Testament has this to say - “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it”. Jesus’ sermon that sounds remarkably like a Stoic critique of worrying about things outside of personal agency (body, property, longevity):
Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? ... Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself."
In the words of Augustine of Hippo:
For it is established that a mind that is dominant and in possession of virtue cannot be made slave to inordinate desire by anything equal or superior to it, because of its justice, or by anything inferior to it, because of its weakness. Therefore, only one conclusion remains: nothing makes the mind a companion of desire except its own free will and choice.
Niebuhr’s prayer is a perfect synthesis of the opening of Epictetus’ Discourses, and core teachings from Hinduism and Budhism. Though written by a mid-century American Protestant, the Serenity Prayer is a psychological mirror to the Vedic and Buddhist concepts:
The Serenity to Accept: This is the Buddhist concept of Upeksha (equanimity) or the Vedantic acceptance of Prarabdha Karma (the unfolding of destiny). It acknowledges that fighting reality as it is currently presenting itself is the root of all suffering.
The Courage to Change: This is Purushartha (conscious, right action) in the Vedas. It is the refusal to sink into lazy fatalism. You act vigorously where your agency matters.
The Stoics had a lot to offer - dwelling on their teachings might help in times of chaos and stress. Niebuhr’s prayer proves that whether you are looking at Roman philosophy, 4th-century theology, Upanishads, or 20th-century psychology, the foundational step to mental clarity is always the same: finding the boundary line where your personal leverage ends and the rest of the universe begins.
1 The image for this week’s article is Death of Socrates By Jacques-Louis David - https://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/436105, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=28552
2 The Enchiridion is a good starting point to learn about Stoicism.